Tag Archives: Lessons

Zombie

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SOTDIf you haven’t spent at least one precious hour and a half of your life watching the great cinematic masterpiece that is Shaun of the Dead, please, at some point during your lifetime, watch this movie. To give you a recap (this does matter to the rest of this post, I promise), our hero, Shaun, is just trudging through his monotonous life when a virus takes over the world and starts turning people into zombies. One day he’s just going about his business and the next he finds himself in the middle of global chaos just trying to make sense of it all.

Sound familiar? I bet it does.

Well, friends, here we are living in the middle of the pages of a future history book. Our world came to a screeching halt – and, much like Shaun, we’re trying to wrap our minds around what’s happening and cling to any bit of normalcy and human connection we can (from a safe, six-foot distance, of course).

At least, unlike Shaun, we don’t have to worry about zombies, right? Uh… right? Well, actually, we do. Due to the horrific nature of this widespread virus, there are other side effects that are spreading globally that can be caught by those who may never contract the actual disease. Side effects include but are not limited to: fear, anxiety, stress, hopelessness, depression, etc. In essence, the very things that may cause one to just shut down and go into full zombie mode… without all the biting… hopefully.

Fortunately, since I am a consumer of zombie films and television and have watched Shaun of the Dead a hundred times over, I can make a few expert recommendations on how to navigate through this zombie land and flatten the curve of these side effects. Here we go…

Stay On Guard

Your first line of defense is to just be aware that the zombies are real and can appear out of nowhere. For example, one minute you’re sitting there enjoying a quarantine perk (i.e., finally watching everything that’s been saved on your dvr for the past two years, etc.) and all of a sudden, for whatever reason, you’re hit with a tidal wave of anxiety and you’ve lost the ability to relax and breathe (it happens, I’ve been there).

So the best way to stay on guard is to: 1.) Acknowledge that you’re not immune to the zombies, 2.) Be aware of your emotions and how you’re processing through them and, 3.) Be mindful that even though you may not be “bitten” or scared of the predators doesn’t mean that those around you haven’t been affected and may need some backup. It all starts with awareness of yourself and others.

Prep Your Arsenal

Now that you’re aware that the threat is real, you need to choose your weapons. Even though some attacks are unexpected and you have to grab whatever’s available to you at the time, you’re much better off if you’re already packing.

I think everyone’s weapons will look a bit different, but it comes down to choosing the (healthy) things that will help you combat the zombies. Weapons can look like: having a trusted, fantastic human being you can connect with daily, stepping outside for fresh air, drinking some tea or hot cocoa at the end of your day, chilling out and playing a video game, or just pretty much anything that can be associated with happiness, rest, and playtime.

Like I said, our weapons will look different and will need to be changed up depending on the size and amount of zombies – some days tacos are enough for me while other days require tacos, tears, tequila, and tissues – but so long as you have your weapons of choice at the ready, you’ll be prepared to fend off whatever comes your way.

Build Your Army

You can’t survive zombie land on your own – you need your homies. Yep. It’s as simple as that. You need people and people need you. We’re all trying to figure out how to make it through all of this and a great way for us all to fend off the zombies is to stay connected, be kind, offer support, and also be brave enough to ask for help and connection as needed. Speak up. You’re not alone.

Remind Them (And Yourself) Who’s Boss

One thing remains true in every zombie story: the people who usually get eaten first are the ones who convince themselves they can’t win – they give up before the fight even starts. Next thing you know, they’re zombie food. However, renowned heroes of the zombie worlds (i.e., Shaun, Michonne, Tallahassee, etc.) go into the fight with a healthy dose of confidence that they’re going to win. So it comes down to choice: you’re either going to let the zombies consume you without even trying to fight or you’re going to go in, guns blazing, and remind them who’s boss.

Rise And Shine

This is your moment to decide if you’re going to rise or if you’re going to crumble. At the beginning of the movie, Shaun was barely motivated to go to the convenience store much less fight off a zombie. But as the pressure increased and the fight got harder, Shaun kicked into gear, led an army of warriors, and didn’t let the zombies overtake him. It’s not to say he was never overwhelmed or scared – he was – but he made a choice to fight and rise to the occasion regardless of how his odds for survival may have appeared.

This is a scary, stressful, uncertain time we’re all living in and it’s difficult to push through. I get it – the zombies are everywhere. However, you can and you will defeat the zombies. And when it’s all over, we’ll meet up at the Winchester for a nice, cold pint.

(NOTE: Seriously, you gotta watch that movie because it makes my closing line that much more spectacular.)

If I Could Turn Back Time

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The-Prince-of-Egypt-1998Full disclosure, this post is not about Cher nor is it an exegesis of the timeless classic that inspired the name of this post. Just wanted to disappoint you now before you continued to travel along with me on this Cher-less journey.

Speaking of disappointment, let’s get down to it and talk about the past…

February is a tough month for me. Actually, February is tough for a lot of people mostly because of the poop parade that is Valentine’s Day (I’m clearly not a fan of that fabricated holiday), but that’s just more fuel on my wildfire. The reason this month is tough is because it reminds me of some especially good moments in my life, the brief window where everything felt right and my heart and mind was still firmly intact. For me, processing through painful moments is much easier than reflecting on the good stuff because the good stuff was pretty good… or at least I thought it was.

As it turns out, the good times I’m alluding to and don’t feel much like going into detail about weren’t all that great. Retrospect and gaining information that was not afforded to me at the time, showed me that I was living in the matrix and what I thought was good and real and true was all a facade. Still, despite the knowledge I now possess and the amount of time that has passed, when this time of year rolls around (and, let’s be honest, many times before and after), I still think about and long to be back in that time and space, safely tucked inside my happy ball of disillusionment.

But here’s the thing: I am not the first nor will I be the last to struggle with longing for what’s behind me even if what is gone was not actually good. If you’ve ever watched or heard of the AMAZING animated feature The Prince of Egypt (the book is better), it’s the true story (with some artistic license) about Moses leading the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and toward the promised land – it’s pretty epic.

Anyway, if the movie had a sequel, it would most likely be about their excruciatingly long journey to the promised land. Even though the best was ahead of them, the people struggled to keep their focus forward and often voiced their longing to go back to Egypt where things like food and water were in guaranteed supply. Although free from a life of slavery, the uncertainties and hardships of the desert journey skewed their retrospect and made them long for a more painful and oppressive life that was, to them, more comfortable and secure.

I used to scoff at the dumbness of the Israelites who longed for slavery over freedom until I found myself in a similar situation. I’ve spent far too many days longing for the (false) good times and wishing I were given the opportunity to relive and rewrite history. I’ve found myself thinking, “Well, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all” or “I really miss this person” or worse, “I messed everything up. It was my fault that things turned out the way they did.” I was so broken, tired, and insecure about the future that I lost sight of the muck I was really freed from and how so much greater is ahead of me.

I’m not saying good memories are actually bad or that you can’t look back on your past with fondness – Lord knows how many truly good times and people I miss that I wish I could go back to. But when whatever desert you’re roaming through becomes especially treacherous and difficult to navigate, it’s tempting to rewrite or romanticize the things that were, in all reality, a source of oppression rather than freedom.

So what do we do? How do we leave Egypt in Egypt and press on to a life of freedom, hope, and healing even though the path to our promised lands is filled with uncertainty? To be perfectly honest, I don’t fully know the answer to those questions. We’re all on different journeys and require different methods. What’s worked for me, however, is time, community, forward focus, and gratitude.

First, time. The further you get away from Egypt, the better you can see your promised land and gain true perspective on the oppression you were living in. It doesn’t always make the journey through the desert any easier, but it helps. Second, community. You’re not in this alone. I’ll write more about this later, but I can’t stress enough how valuable my community has been in my healing process over the past few years. Whether your community comes in the form of friends, family, pastors, or counselors, just know that the best way to stay out of Egypt is to surround yourself with those who cheer you on to keep moving ahead and remind you of the truth of your past and your future. Third, forward focus. You can’t successfully move forward if you’re always looking behind you. Find ways to keep you focused on your promised land. Whether that’s creating vision boards, starting projects that will help you make progress toward your goals and/or new self, or whatever that looks like for you, just take action to keep your eyes focused ahead on the life of freedom, healing, and wholeness that you deserve. Lastly, practice gratitude. Thank God for what you were freed from, thank Him for what lies ahead, thank Him for the struggles (past and present) that have shaped who you are and who you will become, and thank Him for the “what could have beens” that He no doubtedly saved you from. It really makes a difference to be intentionally thankful and speak out your gratitude that Egypt is behind you and the promised land is yet to come (or has arrived!).

And while I’m not leaving this month without having acquired a few bumps and bruises along the way, I am closing it out feeling even more freer from my Egypt than I’ve ever been before and with a deep confidence that a redemption greater than I can hope for or imagine is on its way. And the same is possible for you. Keep on keeping on, weary travelers. Egypt’s got nothing on your promised land.

It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay

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PamAside from the odd job here and there, I’ve basically been unemployed for nearly two years.  In fact, I haven’t had a full-time job since I was laid off in 2008.  To say it has been a “struggle” would be a gross understatement.

Mind you, it hasn’t been all doom and gloom over the past few years, but I spent a lot of time questioning life choices while making futile attempts at convincing hiring managers to choose me over the next desperately seeking Susan.

So when a friend of mine propositioned me about a solid job opening, I was compelled to consider applying for the position.  The job was completely unrelated to anything I had my professional sights set on, but I figured the responsible thing to do was apply for the job and accept my lot because maybe God’s will for my life included taking this sharp right turn in a new direction.

In the middle of the interview I was carrying on a fantastic inner monologue.  I kept asking myself, “Do you really want this job?  Why do you keep selling yourself so hard to get the position?  Stop trying to make yourself look good! This is not the time to be competitive!” and so on and so forth.

Even during the interview I knew this wasn’t where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do, but I continued to tell myself, “Suck it up and be an adult.  You’ve prayed a long time for a job, so take it if it’s offered to you.”  Ten minutes after I left the interview the job was offered to me.  I accepted it and cried every day for at least a solid week.

To be fair, I had a lot of good reasons to accept the job.  The work environment and co-workers are fantastic, the idea of doing my part to help people get the care they needed sounded amazing (and it was), and praying with the staff at the start of the workday was incredible.  So for those reasons, I knew I didn’t make a bad decision but I certainly didn’t make a right one either.

However, it didn’t take long for me to reach the breaking point; shortly after taking the job I gave my two weeks notice.

This was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make because: 1.) I don’t like to quit, 2.) I don’t want to be viewed as a quitter, and 3.) I was well aware that I’d be letting down a few people in the process especially since I unintentionally gave the false impression that I was happy to be employed.

Long story already long, here’s what I learned from this experience.  First of all, go with your gut.  From the get go, I felt a heavy burden of hesitation but went through with my decision because I thought taking this job was the responsible thing to do.  Turns out, it would have been more responsible to trust my instincts and pass on the job instead of dragging myself (and others) into the consequences of my wrong choices.

Secondly, don’t allow outside pressure or hype to rule your decisions.  I got so caught up in the excitement of the situation that I didn’t give myself the proper time I needed to make a good choice.  I let the positive influence of others – and the fact that I didn’t want to turn away their welcomed assistance – push me into something I didn’t really want to do.

I’m a natural people-pleaser, and unfortunately my inclinations to please the people led to making things quite unpleasant for all parties involved.  Sometimes not having other’s best interests in mind before your own is what is truly best for everybody.

Lastly, be brave. Whether you’re making decisions about a job, the possibility of a relationship, or other potentially life-altering choices, have the guts to make the RIGHT choice.  It takes just as much courage to say no as it does to say yes – even if what is offered to you is of great value.

So there you go, kids, another page ripped from my book of difficult life lessons.  Everything you do may not be right, but if you learn from it, eventually it’ll all be okay.