I realize it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted on this blog. Part of it has to do with the fact that my well of creativity hath runneth dry, and the other part has to do with the fact that I’ve just been in a weird, dark place in my life.
The reason I’ve come out of hibernation is because I want to share with you something awesome God showed me a short while back. But first, let me set this up for you.
When I was a tiny coffee bean of a little girl, I was very curious. I was new to the world and had a lot of questions about how it functioned. Much to my father’s dismay, he became my personal Google.
My poor dad had to hear this squeaky 3-year-old ask, “Why?” over and over and over again. I asked questions ranging from “How will I know when I can read?” to “What am I going to be when I grow up?” You know, the small questions of life (and I swear, I actually asked these questions at this age).
At some point during my seemingly endless line of questioning, I asked my dad how flowers grew. Instead of just providing a verbal answer, he gave me a visual aid by drawing each step of the growth cycle of a flower. He then put each picture in a plastic sleeve and bound them together in a folder. Doing this bought him maybe one minute of relief from my rapid fire of questioning and gave me one of my most treasured possessions.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and I had a similar encounter but this time with my Heavenly Father.
Like I said earlier, I had been going through quite the rough season in my life (actually, I still am). I felt pressed in on every side with no sign of relief and God was the last person I wanted to talk to. I doubted, I questioned, felt abandoned and forgotten, and only saw darkness surrounding me.
It’s not that everything was going wrong in my life, but I was definitely walking around with a broken heart. It was a struggle to get up every morning and put on a brave face – some days were easier than others – but my smile was just a cover up for the brokenness I was enduring.
So one day I was just going about my business, not really thinking about much or even seeking God for answers, and I heard him speak to me about the growth of a flower, but from the perspective of a seed. Fortunately, it didn’t take long for me to realize He was talking about me.
Here’s what God spoke to me: first, the seed (you) is planted in rich soil. It’s pressed down deep, completely surrounded in darkness. It can’t see or feel the sun, but it’s there. It doesn’t know how or when it will sprout, but it will. A seed cannot see the gardener, but the gardener is there, above ground, tending to the seed, watering it, giving it air and sunshine.
Now, the job of the seed is to be still and allow change to happen in its time. It will be dark for a while and, at times, uncomfortable as it sprouts roots and starts pushing to the top. And one day, the seed will not only break through the surface, it will become a beautiful, fragrant flower giving great pleasure to the gardener.
Pretty cool, right? I thought so. I also found it terrifying and felt claustrophobic because I understood where I was in that picture. I was the seed pressed in on every side unable to feel any sense of hope for breakthrough or the existence of an ever-present gardener.
I’ve also come to understand that this metaphor applies to many facets of life. It’s a great picture about our lives from start to finish, but it also applies to seasons of life. Right now, I don’t feel so pressed down (maybe I’m starting to sprout), but I still don’t see the breakthrough happening. But there have been other times in my life when I’ve been above the surface and have felt the sun shining on me. So even when my next breakthrough comes, I can also be sure that I will be the seed once again. It’s a constant cycle, one that does not end until we’re plucked from the earth and enjoyed at the Creator’s table.
I hope that wherever you are at in your growth cycle that you remember that you are not gone from God’s sight. He has planted you right where he wants you for a reason and will see you through every phase of growth. Be still, trust in his timing for change, and when it’s right, you will bloom into the fullness of all that God has created you to be.
Look at life through rose colored glasses, even when you’re a seed covered in dirt.