I only have one regret in life – which really isn’t too bad considering how long I’ve been on this earth.

When I was 5-years-old (see picture), I was enrolled in dance class.  I remember the excitement of squeezing my chunky legs into tight leotards – as well as the feeling of determination that this time my leg would make it over the bar.

However, the best part of dance class was my tap shoes.  I loved them so much I wore them at home and clicked around the linoleum floor in the kitchen.  I doubt my parents loved the sound as much as I did.  As far as I was concerned, every tap brought me one step closer to Juliard… or Sesame Street on Broadway.

I don’t know how long I stayed in dance class and I don’t ever remember not enjoying myself.  All I do know is that one trip to or from class changed the course of my life forever.

One day, riding to or from class with my mom, I was posed with the biggest decision of my little life.  Mom’s simple, life-changing question was, “Do you want to play t-ball with your cousins?”  At age five, I decided hanging up my dance shoes was a small price to pay for having scheduled playtime with my family.  My cousins were (and still are) some of my best friends and it was lonely at the tap dancing top.  But so long as I could keep my tap shoes, I didn’t really care what activity I was involved in.

Many years down the line I found that trading my dance shoes for cleats was the moment that changed it all.

As I watched the Tony Awards on tv last weekend, I wondered where my life would’ve been had I stuck with dancing.  I would definitely be more coordinated (I think) and I’d also look fantastic in leotards.  And those tap shoes… they definitely would’ve made a comeback!

Aside from coordination and dancewear, I also wondered if I’d be sitting in the audience as a nominee rather than sitting on my couch as a regretful observer.  My love for the arts has never left me, so it’s not such a far-fetched idea that I would’ve pursued a career in this field.  I’m sure I would’ve been the second coming of Judy Garland… or possibly the third, if you take Liza into consideration.  Whatever.

Anyway, after sharing my story of wonder and regret with a friend, she asked me if I’d ever heard of the butterfly effect.  My mind instantly flashed to Ashton Kutcher – yes, of course I’ve heard of the butterfly effect.  In this instance, she wasn’t talking about the movie or Mr. Kutcher so much as she was talking about the actual butterfly effect theory that was the basis for the movie.

I can’t really translate all the geeky terminology to explain the theory, but essentially the butterfly effect is this: something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can have a drastic affect on something great like the weather system.  SO, a butterfly deciding to make a hard right instead of flying left can make all the difference between a light breeze and a hurricane.  It’s a weird theory and I don’t have time to explain it all, but that’s the basic concept.

Ouch.  My brain hurts.

Author Ray Bradbury took this one step further.  He posed the idea that if something as tiny as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can affect the weather, then maybe the tiniest, most insignificant decisions we make every day could drastically affect our futures.  Hmm.  Not a bad theory.  I know what this guy’s talking about.

To put it simply, what I’m talking about is the big “What If?” – a question that’s plagued humans probably since Adam and Eve.  I mean, come on, what if they didn’t eat the fruit?  We’d all be in a better spot, that’s “what if.”  Thanks a lot, guys.

And while it’s likely that I’d probably enjoy being a professional dancer instead of a writer, I’ve also come to grips with the fact that I can’t go back and de-flutter that moment in my life.  All I can do now is go forward and appreciate everything I do have as a result of the choices I’ve made in my life thus far.

For starters, I can appreciate the time I got to spend playing ball with my family and the day my coach (a.k.a., Uncle Mike) had to escort me to right field.  I can also appreciate the awesome memories I have of my grandpa playing catch with me, and later helping me put on my uniform for my first big game.

I can also appreciate that my lack of a dance career caused me to pursue other great dreams.  Although I’m still in the process of reaching some of those dreams, I know the path I’ve chosen has led me to some amazing experiences and great relationships.

Had I not gone to the college I chose or worked the jobs I have, I could very well be missing out on the wonderful friendships I have today.  Great relationships last a whole lot longer than tap shoes… and tap shoes, in my eyes, are still one of God’s best creations.

There’s really no point in asking “what if?”  We’ll never know what our lives would’ve looked like had we turned right instead of left, or whether we would’ve chosen the tutu over the baseball cap.

All we can do is move forward – and the only way to move forward is to not look back.  Have you ever seen a butterfly fly backwards?  Neither have I.